tbonejenkins | Reading

So, just a few minutes ago in one place or another, I was reading what someone had to say about style. In the course of exploring a particular writer's habits and style, they said that they themselves weren't sure they knew what style was.

A long time ago, a sentence came into my possession that has been both comforting and humbling by degrees. It is this: "Style is what you can't help doing."

The comforting part is that if you can't help having style, or doing style, or whatever sort of verbing of style is accurate for you and your work, then you might as well stop any worrying about style and get on with the work. Saves a tremendous amount of time, really.

Thoughts?

sasha_feather

I realized today that a lot of my friends don't know about what I've gone through this year.

Last year in June I moved back to Minnesota to look after my dad. My mom was in the hospital for a month and then moved to a nursing home with sudden-onset dementia (B1 deficiency) secondary to cancer.

I intended to support them temporarily but decided to make it a more permanent move to support them and their many animals. I struggled and kept expecting other family members to step up, but they did not.

I was hospitalized in May 2025 after a seizure. (Two seizures in 3 years means a new diagnosis of epilepsy.) I am missing about a week or 2 of memories from directly after that experience, so I don't know for sure what happened. I was busy looking after my dad and the animals, and then coordinating a move for my parents into assisted living, which I mostly did myself, While recovering from a seizure, with a broken rib.

I don't know why-- again, I don't remember (likely from medication side effects), but no one from the family came to help me directly after the seizure. My dad (who has dementia) and I did it alone. I'm angry about it and need people to know.

I supported my family for a year and half and did not receive any funds, no salary, very little emotional or logistical help from my brother, his wife, or his 4 healthy teenage kids. There is a wider extended family and they didn't show up either. We got some occasional visits but it wasn't enough.

Since moving my parents into assisted living, I have continued to support them in many ways, including looking after their farm and animals, again with no funds.

This week I asked my brother to help me advocate with my dad, to get me some money. He said no. He believes we should sell the farm (where I am now living). He made no mention of any provisions for me.

I'm obviously very upset, but the anger is at least helping me communicate about what is happening. I am reaching out to friends and various family members and trying to raise the alarm to protect myself.

I am safe for the time being but it is not the best idea for me to be living alone. I had intended to find roommates to come live here with me, but there are some barriers, including me not being the property owner, and the house being a bit of a mess. My next step is to directly talk to my parents about this situation. They both have dementia but I think they are capable of understanding my position.

I am currently unsure what the best course of action is moving forward. But I at least want folks to know what is going on. It's been very helpful to talk on the phone with friends who are affirming to me that this is a fucked up way to be treated. It's been a bitter pill to swallow, realizing that my family is exploiting me.

Warm thoughts, mail, messages are all helpful.

jazzfish

The Cinematheque is doing a Hong Kong New Wave action series, which means I finally get to see a bunch of movies I've heard about for ages.

( City On Fire )

( Peking Opera Blues )

( The Killer )

sartorias

I need to remember to mention these (rare) things in case one or two of you have free time at 9:00a.m. Pacific time Sunday the 7th. B Cubed Press Sunday Brunch, on Youtube, hosts a live chat. Tomorrow I'm to be included, for what will begin as a chat about preparing for readings, but might go in any direction.

jazzfish

Took Mr Tuppert in to the vet today for his annual vaccines. Apparently when you get a rabies shot they give you a cute lil tag. I may put that on his collar, Just In Case. The odds of him getting out are basically nil but why take chances.

He's got a heart murmur, but it looks like that came up last time, and it's not gotten any worse, so that's just a Thing That Exists. Between that, the one tooth that the vet's been warning me about since he arrived, and what might be early-stage arthritis, this is a cat that is made of Problems (But Not Yet). I'm okay with that. Chaos started showing wear at about this point (thirteen-ish) as well, and he got another four years after that.

I did have a moment of "oh no" when the vet-tech took him to the back for shots and blood-drawing. Nothing real or serious, just the sudden realisation that I'm not nearly ready for him to go away, to be taken into a room by a kind and gentle tech and not come back out again. Of course I'll be there when it happens, this time, but still.

When we got home I gave him a little bit of tunafish, and filled up his treat-puzzle with treats. I don't think he's gotten -all- of them yet but he certainly spent some good time snuffling and crunching. Currently he is sacked out on the bed Recovering. Seems fair.

denise posting in

dw_news

Hello, friends! It's about to be December again, and you know what that means: the fact I am posting this actually before December 1 means

karzilla reminded me about the existence of linear time again. Wait, no -- well, yes, but also -- okay, look, let me back up and start again: it's almost December, and that means it's time for our annual December holiday points bonus.

The standard explanation: For the entire month of December, all orders made in the Shop of points and paid time, either for you or as a gift for a friend, will have 10% of your completed cart total sent to you in points when you finish the transaction. For instance, if you buy an order of 12 months of paid time for $35 (350 points), you'll get 35 points when the order is complete, to use on a future purchase.

( The fine print and much more behind this cut! )

Thank you, in short, for being the best possible users any social media site could possibly ever hope for. I'm probably in danger of crossing the Sappiness Line if I haven't already, but you all make everything worth it.

On behalf of Mark, Jen, Robby, and our team of awesome volunteers, and to each and every one of you, whether you've been with us on this wild ride since the beginning or just signed up last week, I'm wishing you all a very happy set of end-of-year holidays, whichever ones you celebrate, and hoping for all of you that your 2026 is full of kindness, determination, empathy, and a hell of a lot more luck than we've all had lately. Let's go.

elisem

He were brilliant.

Mr Ford took me to London (first class, yet, as he had to use up a lot of frequent flyer miles on a reorganizing airline, so we went fancy) to see Arcadia at the NT. It was stunning.

Glad we had him on the planet. He will be missed.

elisem

I test negative for COVID these days, and feel a lot better. As directed by many people who learned some of it the hard way, I continue to rest LIKE A POTATO. And no, the giggle-inducing power of that phrase has not worn off. Juan has a way of intoning it at various sleeptimes that brings even more amusement due to the solemnity. And these things are good.

HOWEVER, what is not so good is that I'm considerably behind on getting things into the Etsy store.

Also what is not so good is that a new computer is needed. (Shopping will be done, the passive voice will be employed, and so forth.) Also, since other debts are also had, the means to pay them must be acquired.

YOUR KINDNESS is hereby requested in the form of sending people to my shop (or going yourself, yes please!) so that I may exchange the fruits of my labors for money that I can then give the computer-making people and the other-stuff-I-have-to-pay-people. If it works out right, we're all happy. (Also it will help me not freak out about money, which turns out to make resting LIKE A POTATO a little harder.)

The shop is: https://www.etsy.com/shop/LionessElise

Also also, being at the workbench is the most calming thing I know, so I'm doing a tiny bit of that, but I need to put things into the shop for people to be able to see them. Commerce does not work so well otherwise. (I am reminded of Patricia C. Wrede, who upon receiving a sheepish negative answer when she asked me if I had sent a certain story in yet, declaimed in ringing tones, "PUBLISHERS DO NOT CONDUCT HOUSE-TO-HOUSE SEARCHES FOR PUBLISHABLE MANUSCRIPTS! SEND IT IN! YOU HAVE TO SEND IT IN!")

Anyhow, yeah, I very much need to make some moneys happen, and the most direct route for me is making shinies happen for people that want shinies, so if you can help them find my work that would be awesomely helpful.

You have my deep gratitude, and if there's anything I can do for you, please let me know.

jazzfish

Been a minute. Again.

September was rough. October was actively bad and November showed every sign of being worse. Sometime around the end of October I made an appointment with my doctor to talk about antidepressants.

I had intended to try them once I got my job situation sorted out. Then again I had intended to have my job situation sorted out long before it got this bad. The thing about me and depression is that episodes always have an external trigger. It's not precisely something that's a part of me. Except for how it's always lurking, waiting for something to go wrong badly enough that it can slip through.

Long story short, I've been on Wellbutrin for a little over a week. It's been ... good? The week or two before I had reached the point of strugging with getting up off the couch to do anything fun, because I couldn't conceive of enjoying anything. That particular weight is lessened. I'm baking, and generally making decent food, and reading things for fun rather than "because this is what i'm reading now".

It's disrupting my sleep, I think. I'm waking up three or four times a night rather than once or twice. I am sticking with it for at least another week in the hope that this sorts itself out; if not, there's plenty of other flavours of drug I can try.

So that's what I've been up to for the last couple of months.

Other than that ... reading, playing with and sitting with Mr Tuppert, applying for jobs. Some boardgaming. More videogaming than I care to admit, less Getting Outside or Seeing People than I would like.

Hanging in, I guess.

Happy birthday-plus-one to me.

sartorias

Wishing those who celebrate a warm day with plenty of good things to eat in company you cherish.

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tbonejenkins

Cafe in the Woods (Wordpress page)

June 2019

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Page generated Dec. 11th, 2025 01:04 am

Cafe in the Woods

A writer's journal In Touch With Yours Truly

Reading

reading about writing, thinking about art

Update on my life

three from hong kong

Sunday Online Chat

eldering cat

Look! I remembered to post before December started this year!

Stoppard.

Still resting LIKE A POTATO but with small bits of work in between, and ASKING YOUR FAVOR

better living through chemistry

Thanksgiving

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June 2019

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